i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
