she was so not down for the gang bang
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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