We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
how drunk are you?
Several
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
