No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
