We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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