"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No stitches, just platelets and will power
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
