Got a toothbrush?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
