Just cropdusted the office
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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