My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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