Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
