so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
