umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
