Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
