They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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