frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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