So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
