These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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