just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize