Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
