how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
