Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
