We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
