Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize