Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
