Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
