some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
