On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think people are normalizing furries
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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