I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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