You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
