yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
