im drinking this country out of the recession.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
