I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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