Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
