So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
they need to just BURY HIM!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
