i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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