And the cops told us we were all naked.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
