I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
