What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
