Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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