The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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