did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
