Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize