I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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