It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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