Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
