I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
