Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
is it fun? or sober?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Come on in and take your pants off
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