seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
