they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I intend to get homeless drunk
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
