i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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