Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
