used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
