no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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