tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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