I wish I only lived at night.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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