how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize