The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
