Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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